Words That Weren't Meant
by zaracatilina
Summary: hmm, lets see...basically matt and his dad have an agruement...exchange harsh words, then the next thing matt knows, his father is dead...how does he cope?


*jumps into the room from the mist and holds hands up in the air* Hello!!! Oh, my goodness, thought you'd never see me again, huh? *smirks* Right, sure, I love you all so very much! Well, This little fic has been an ongoing project for me...and seeing how I'm having a major brain freeze on my "Dark Mist Saga" I'd thought I'd be nice and give you a little fic to...oh, I don't know...contain you? Yeah, ok.

Wow...Update: I get to order my cap and gown for graduation...*stares* Scary! I'm going to be graduating in June! So close! I'm almost free!!! *twirls around* Okay, I'll go now...yeah, just read the fic and give me nice review, k? Zara likes nice reviews! 

No flames, please. . . .*smiles* Got it? thanks.

DISCLAIMER: awww, come on people, we all should know that I do not own Digimon nor will I ever own them...or Matt would be so mine...*smirks* well, ignore that and just read the fic, k? thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Whatever, dad!" Matt shouted angrily at his father. "I wish you were dead!"

Matt didn't wait for his father's reply. He grabbed his bag and left, angrily slamming the door behind him. He blinked back tears as he slowly made his way down the stairs, down to the area where he met up with Tai, Kari and his brother Tk.

He hadn't meant to say that. He really didn't mean it-- he did love his dad, and felt guilty for even saying the horrible thing. Lately, the two were having fights and arguments every other hour it seemed.

Matt knew it wasn't his dad's fault. His dad was working more hours at the station only to have more money. . .more money for food and clothes for Matt. And Matt knew it--it made him feel even more horrible.

The arguments were petty and pointless. He knew that but he was stubborn. . .just as his dad was. He sighed, quietly, for he wasn't angry anymore, just frustrated.

"Matt? Hey, Matt?"

A hand snaked out and wrapped around his arm, halting him to a surprised stop. Matt looked up into warm brown eyes and stammered, "T-Tai, hi." He plastered a smile on his face. "W-what's up?"

Tai smiled, but concern showed in his eyes. "We were waiting for you-- but you almost pasted us," he answered.

"What's wrong, Matt? Something bothering you?" Kari asked, raising her eyebrows.

Tk frowned, studying his brother. "Kari's right-- something is wrong. What is it?" He replied.

Matt sighed, pulling from Tai's grasp. As he walked away, he tossed over his shoulder, "Nothing is wrong. Come on; let's go before we're late."

The three exchanged doubtful glances. Tai shrugged, saying, "Let's go, before he's left us behind."

The trio caught up with Matt, who had stopped near a tree, waiting for them. He turned to face them and smiled lightly.

"So, Matt, how's band practice going nowadays?" Tai asked, as he resumed his walking next to his friend. Tai wincing but didn't point it out. He frowned slightly.

"Great, just great." Matt lied. Truthfully, he hadn't been going to band practice. Dad wouldn't let him-- he had to clean and cook and bring up his grades. He sighed quietly and shrugged. "Yeah, it's great."

"When are you guys performing?" Tk asked. "Do we get to have free tickets?"

"Uhhh. . ."Matt stammered. "S-sure. Why not?" His smile became forced. "I'll tell you when the next performance is, ok?"

"Okay, I can't wait!" Kari replied, smiling sweetly.

A warning bell rang, and TK grinned, saying, "Well, we're off. . .see you two later, and try not to be late!"

"Bye!" Kari added before she and TK took off in another direction for school.

"Later guys!" Both Matt and Tai chimed.

Matt turned to leave for class but for the second time that day, a hand grasped his arm. Matt spun around to face Tai. He glared at his friend.

"Tai," Matt said softly, "Just leave me alone, okay?"

"No." Tai retorted back. "I'm you friend-- your _best _friend-- and you won't tell me what's wrong."

Matt sighed slowly. "Dad and I had another fight. . .and I told him I wish he was dead," He said bluntly, yet his tone soft. "I feel horrible. . .I didn't mean it."

Tai tilted his head to the side, smiling gently. "You would. . .Matt, he probably knows you didn't mean those words." He told his friend. "It was a petty argument, the words you two exchanged didn't mean a thing."

Matt raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Tai?" He said.

"Yeah?"

"When did you get so smart?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"I dunno. . .hanging around with Izzy too much, I think," Tai answered, giving a laugh.

The smile on Matt's face finally shinned through and he also gave a laugh. He gently punched Tai's shoulder and said, "Yeah, I think you have."

Just then the final bell rang and both boys groaned. The two exchanged grins and said, in unison, "We're late!"

With that, the two spun around and ran in to the direction of their class. The only sound in the quiet halls was the pounding of the their shoes as they ran too class.

* * *

"It's such a beautiful day," Matt commented, his gaze traveling around the park, as he, Tai, Kari and TK walked slowly to their "spot" in which they always met. To talk, to laugh. . .to just hang out . . .to meet with the others.

Tai smiled. "Matt, are you okay now?" He asked softly, touching his friends arm gently.

Matt turned his sapphire eyes onto Tai and gave him a simile. "Yeah. . .yeah, I am. Thanks." He replied quietly. When I get home, I'll talk to him and make up."

"Good!" Tai said happily. He grinned. "And ask if you can rejoin the band again!"

Startled, Matt abruptly stopped only to stare at Tai with his mouth open. TK and Kari, who had been walking some distance behind, bumped into Matt. Matt stumbled but Tai caught a hold of him before he fell.

"Hey, why'd you stop, Matt?" TK asked, confused. 

Matt didn't hear; he stared into Tai's amused warm eyes and asked, "H-how'd yo know about that?"

Tai grinned mischievously. "Matt, I'm your best friend! I know you . . .even if you don't tell me, I just know. . ." He answered earnestly. Then he winked, adding, "And I have my ways. . .my sources, shall we say."

"Knowing about what, Tai?" Kari asked confusedly. "What are you two talking about?"

Tai smiled. "Nothing that concerns you, Kari." He answered "Just something between Matt and I."

TK glanced at Matt, only to catch a glimpse of relief flicker across his face. TK smiled and replied, shrugging his shoulders, "Ok, Tai. Kari and I are going to go ahead and meet up with the rest. . ."

"Sure," Tai easily replied. "Go on, you two. . .tell them we're just lazy and we want to walk slowly."

Matt laughed. "You're lazy, Tai-- I'm not!" He retorted, grinning.

Tai just gave a cheeky grin and watched TK and Kari run ahead of them and gave a laugh. Matt looked at him, a puzzled expression on his face.

"Matt, you think those two will ever get together?" Tai asked, jerking his chink at his sister and Matt's brother, as he continued to watch them run up to the others.

Matt looked away, a smile on his lips and replied, "Sure. . .they're met for each other. . .Sooner or later Davis will find that out!"

The two laughed, as they finally met up with everyone. Sora glanced up and asked, a smile on her face, "Hey, you two-- what's so funny?"

"Well. . .inside joke, Sora," Matt replied. "No offense or anything."

Sora smiled even wider and hugged Matt, then Tai. "None taken, Matt, best friends have many secrets."

Matt blushed slightly. He shrugged and smiled. "Um, yeah, Sora. . .and I'm pretty sure you and Tai have some secrets as well." He teased.

"Uhh, yeah, ok. Sure, Matt," Sora stammered blushing a light pink. She gave Tai a look.

Tai laughed. "I'm gonna go join Davis and Ken with their little soccer game," He said, and jogged over to them.

"I'm glad you made time for us, Matt," Izzy said, looking up from his laptop. "We haven't seen you in awhile."

"Yeah, what're you doing that comes before us?" Yolie asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Ummm. . ."Matt started to say, panicking. He really didn't want to tell his friends. . .Why would he, when he hasn't even told Tai the whole truth?

"Watch out!" A yell cam from behind him.

Matt spun around, puzzled, only to meet with the soccer ball-- which hit him square in the face. The force of the kick, and the impact on Matt's face by the ball, sent him reeling backwards into a ready Joe.

Joe caught him before he fell and gently lowered him to the ground, all the while, checking the injury.

"Matt, I can't see your injury if you won't move your hands," Joe said firmly, trying to pry Matt's hands away from his face.

"I'm fine." Came the muffled reply.

Tai, Davis and Ken came running up; Tai dropped to his knees next to his injured friend.

"Matt, I'm sooooo sorry!" Ken wailed. "I kicked it too high, and Tai shouted a warning--"

"Ken," Matt said, sighing and dropping his hands from his face. "It's okay, I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"I'll be the judge of that," Joe replied checking his friends face. A few seconds later, he said, "Nothing serious-- but there's going to be a slight-- well, ok not slight but obvious bruise-- around the nose area."

Matt forced a grin, all the while stifling the urge to sigh. "See, Ken? Nothing serious. . .Just a bruise. I'm alive." He teased. 

"I'm sorry. . ." Ken repeated.

"I guess you don't know you're own strength, Ken!" Tai joked.

Matt laughed Seeing the upset face on Ken still, he reached over and gave his friend's shoulder a squeeze. "Ken, I'm all right," He said softly.

"If you're sure. . ."Ken still said hesitatingly.

"Is the sky blue? Of course I'm sure!" Matt laughed. He stood up and brushed himself off. He glanced at his watched and groaned. "I'm sorry, guys, I've got to go." He said.

Sora and Tai exchanged glances, and everyone else looked at him.

"But, Matt," TK protested, "you just got here!"

"TK's right," Kari agreed. "Why must you leave so early?

"Uhh, Matt stammered, searching for something to say.

Suddenly a phone rang and Yolie picked it up, handing the cell to Matt. "Your phone's ring, Matt." She said.

Matt frowned slightly. He took it and answered it, "Hello?"

"Matt Ishida?" Came a female voice.

"Uh, yeah," Matt replied, confused. "Who are you? And how'd' you get my cell number?"

That got everyone's attention. They all swiveled their gazes onto him, and he frowned.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry!"

"What for? About what?" Matt asked, even more confused-- and worried.

"Oh, sweetie, my name's Gabriel. . .I'm a nurse at the hospital." She told him. "And your cell number was in your dad's wallet."

Matt felt the color drain from his face, and he started to have trouble breathing. "Wh-what do you mean, you work at a hospital? What do you mean my dad's wallet?" He asked, his voice raising slightly.

Tai bit his lip, and placed a hand on Matt's arm. "Matt, calm down. . .Listen to her, or him," he soothed gently.

"Matt," Gabriel's voice betrayed her emotions, "Matt, I'm so sorry but. . .but your dad was in an accident. . . a car accident. . .He was killed instantly. . .tried to call home but no one was there."

"No. . ." Matt whispered, not believing it. "No, dad's not-- he's--"

"Matt, what is it?" TK asked, worry etched in his voice.

Matt shoved the phone at his brother, pushing Tai away and took off in a random direction, the pain of realizing the truth shooting into his heart.

"Matt!" Tai yelled. He spun around to face TK. "What's happening? Why'd Matt run off?"

TK turned off his brother's cell off and his shoulders slumped. "Dad has been in an accident and died instantly." He answered, flatly.

Tai's face filled with concern and worry. "Oh, TK, I'm sorry!" He said, giving the younger blonde a hug. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so. . ." TK replied softly, his eyes brimming on the verge of tears. "But I don't think Matt will be." He pointed out. "He was a lot closer to dad than I was."

Tai looked at everyone else. "Guys, you don't mind if I go after Matt, do you?" He asked.

"No, go on, Tai," Kari replied. "Matt needs you whether or not he knows it!"

"Tai go after him," Yolie chimed in.

"You're his best friend!" Davis and Ken both said in unison, chiming their piece in.

Anyone who hadn't said anything just nodded their heads at everyone's else's reasons. Tai grinned a little, he took off in the direction that Matt had headed last, and tossed a wave of her he shoulder, along with a shout of, "Thanks, guys! Catch ya later!"

***

Matt didn't know where he was running to. He just wanted to run. He couldn't believe that his father was dead. He couldn't be. He was just alive this morning. . .when they had their argument. Then all in a rush, he remembered what he had yelled at his dad just before he left for school.

__

"Whatever, dad! I wish you were dead!" The earlier shouted words rung in his ears and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Oh, dad," Matt moaned, dropping to his knees and punching his fists to the ground, "I'm sooo sorry!"

He sat back, and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He buried his head and willed himself not to cry. He couldn't cry, he just couldn't.

It was silent for awhile until a voice broke it.

"Matt?" Tai asked softly, slowly coming up beside his friend. He sat down and gently placed his arm around his friends shoulders.

Matt pushed him away and scrambled up. "Tai, leave me alone," Matt said his voice breaking, betraying his emotions. "I'm fine."

"No," Tai retorted angrily, "You are not!' Tai got up and grabbed his friend's elbow, and spun him around to face him. "Matt, you're hurting! Don't keep it inside! I'm your friend! Your best friend. . . I'm here to comfort you!"

Matt's sapphire eyes lost their usual guard, and emotions showed up. He rapidity blinked his eyes, trying not to let the tears come. Tai bit his lip, not liking to see his friend in such pain. 

"Tai. . ."Matt stammered. "I told him I wish he was dead. . .And now he is. . .I didn't tell him that I love him."

Just at that moment, Tai's heart ached. He pulled Matt into his chest and held him. Matt buried his head in his friends' shoulder, and sobbed. Sobs that racked his body, betraying all his emotions that he rarely showed.

"Matt," Tai started quietly, "he knows. You dad knows that you love him. . .and that you didn't mean what you said."

Matt sobbed harder. Tai sighed quietly, seriously not liking his friend in so much pain. Tai hear a noise, and looked up to see Kari and TK standing together, a questionable look on their faces.

Tai looked over at TK and nodded his head. TK came out slowly, and touched Matt's arm gently. Matt flinched a little, and looked up to see a very concerned TK looking at him.

"Oh, Matt," TK cried, his voice filled with emotions.

Tai stepped back; Matt whimpered but TK instantly took his brother into his arms and held him all the while his older brother silently cried.

***

Later that night, Matt was staring up at the ceiling of Tai's living room. Everyone thought it was a good idea that he stayed at Tai's; his mother couldn't take him in just yet.

So he stayed, sleeping on the couch-- or at least trying to. Thoughts kept him up at night, resulting in tossing and turning. Finally he gave up and stayed on his back, just staring at the ceiling.

Just staring. . .

Trying to keep his thoughts clear. . .his emotions at bay, stuffed in a box and buried somewhere. It didn't help until he realized that staring at the ceiling helped.

So staring up at the ceiling was what he did.

The grandfather clock gently chimed, letting Matt know it was four in the morning. Matt sighed as he counted the chimes. He had been awake for the past five hours. He faced the realization that sleep was not coming to him. He sighed as he sat up, rubbing his temples.

"This isn't working," He muttered. "I can't sleep. . .Why bother?"

He stood up and wandered the room, wondering what he should do, when a movement caught his eyes. He looked over and saw Tai and Kari's cat on their balcony. He frowned as he walked to the door and gently sliding it open, letting the cat in. He reached down and patted it softly on the head.

"Miko," He said quietly, "what're you doing out?"

Miko just meowed and went on her way to the kitchen. Matt shrugged and was about to go back into the couch when he felt the warm breeze sway in. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes. Deciding right there and then, he went out onto the balcony and rested his elbows on the railing, taking the night sight in.

His eyes shifted upward, toward the night, twinkling stars. He bit his lip, searching for the bright stars. He found one and whispered, "Oh, dad, I didn't mean what I said to you. . .I never meant any of those things I've say during an argument. I love you."

He sighed, feeling foolish, for talking to a star, and thinking that his dad could hear him and was listening to him. But what if he was? Going with the positive aspect, the latter thought, Matt felt better. He was sure his dad had heard him.

Suddenly he heard a ringing and he recognized it was his cell phone. He rushed back into the room and answered it, wondering who was calling him so early in the morning.

"Hello?" He mumbled.

__

"You have one new message," Came a mechanical female voice. _"To hear the message, press one."_

Matt blinked in surprise but pressed one, waiting to hear the message. His eyes widened in shock when he heard the voice of his dad coming on.

__

"Matt, I'm sorry for our fight," his dad's sorrowful voice said, _"I didn't mean any of it; I also know you didn't mean of it. I also know you love me, well, I love you too, son. Always have and always will. We should talk it out. . .We shouldn't have so many fights, Matt. Hey maybe when I get home we'll go for take out, 'kay? Love ya, Matt. Bye."_

Matt blinked back sudden tears, as he turned off his phone. He collapsed onto the couch and cried. . .yet it was tears of happiness and relief, knowing that his father did love him. That he knew matt didn't mean his harsh words.

Then he felt someone massaging his shoulders; he glanced up to see Tai smiling gently down at him.

"Matt. . .You okay?" Tai asked softly, still massaging his friend's shoulders, easing the tension and pain that was evident there.

Matt nodded. He handed the phone to Tai and played the message for him. After Tai listened to it, he gave Matt's shoulder a squeeze, looking into Matt's endless blue eyes, which were so open, so full of emotions.

"Matt. . ." Tai said, "I was right. . .He knew."

Matt laughed, startling Tai. "Yeah, but do you have to be so smug?" He shot back, raising an eyebrow.

Matt laughed but suddenly yawned which made up Tai's mind. He grabbed Matt's arm, pulling him up.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Matt protested, yawning still.

"That's it, Matt, you're going to bed," Tai replied, pushing Matt in front of him, and into his room. "You haven't slept and don't lie to m, I know you haven't. . .And you are going to sleep in my bed, with me on the floor."

"B-but I can't!" Matt protested as Tai gently pushed him on the bed and watched him take a sleeping bag out and unrolled it.

"I can and I will. Deal with it."

Defeated, Matt laid back onto Tai's bed, instantly comfortable. His eyes started to droop, but he had to say something thing to Tai before he fell asleep and forgot.

"Tai?" Matt asked, his voice tired.

"Yeah?"

". . .Thank you." Hoping Tai understood what he meant by those words.

Tai did. He smiled and replied, "Your welcome, Matt. . .I am always here for you, no matter what. I'm your best friend."

Matt smiled, his eyes closing and sleep finally taking him. Tai heard the steady, slow breathing of his friend and smiled again. As long as his friend was okay, Tai was happy.

He'd never want to lose his best friend; it was as simple as that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*sniff, sniff* awww, wasn't that sweet? I love tai and matt fics...there needs to be more tai and matt friend fics out there...! Don't you agree?

And I'd like to thank those who are and will give me nice, kind reviews....*stares* after all, they're there...so...*claps hands, raises an eyebrow* so...yeah, you should use them....buh-bye~ *waves and jumps back into the mist, and back into her own litt' world*


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